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Ray's World Adventures 1999

A Small Episode in Ray's Busy Life
WSIKF 1999, Long Beach Washington, USA

I left Vancouver at 4 a.m. to drive to the Washington State International Kite Festival at Long Beach WA.

I arrived at 10 a.m. and was on the beach by 10:30 a.m. It was a great day, good wind and I flew for 5 hours, packed up and walked back to the parking lot, very happy and pleased with myself. It felt really great to have blown the cobwebs off my behind, as it has been at least two days since I had last flown. As I approached my van I caught sight of my friends Brian, Sharon Champie, and Dan the Man leaving the parking lot. As I put my kites in the van and moved around to the driver's side, a piece of notepaper that was pinned under my windshield wiper caught my eye. I took it off and sat in the van to read what was written on it. Could this be true?!!! This is what was written and I quote:

 The stash! "Ray I love you, I want you Bad! Meet me behind the kite shop at 9:00 To nite. You will not be sorry! Xoxoxox."

I wondered, had the news of my world exploits traveled to Long Beach? Who was this damsel in distress? My mind was racing. Was she blond, young, old, fat, skinny? I thought? never mind that, I must live up to my reputation. And it looks like the word is out. Then I checked my watch: 6:00 p.m.-- 3 hours to zero hour -- shower, shave, change underwear, which is very unusual for me as I had only changed them two weeks ago !!! Anyway, this was a small price to pay, and besides I did not want to let our side down with a little thing like that. Right Men? Then I started to panic!! Did I pack them? My mind was racing again. Quick ?think?when did you last check? Denmark, Holland, France, Germany, UK? Then I remembered I had not checked in at the motel yet and my suitcase was still in the back of the van. I hurried around, fumbled with the keys trying to open the lock on my case? why did I lock it ? Did I think someone was going to steal them? I finally got it unlocked and searched through my case, throwing stuff out I had neatly packed a few hours before. I could hear myself scream, "They are not here!!"

Then I caught sight of the Fisherman's Friend tin box I kept them in ?my heart was pounding ?I opened it?. and yes?there they were, the little "beauties "? let me count them 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 beautiful little Blue Viagra pills. Now let me see; if I take one at 8:30!!! -- or should I take two ? Oh, man? I am so excited!!! "Now wait ," I said to myself, "Can't take two...remember what happened the next morning in Germany !! When you had to open the kite festival with a multiple kite ballet, you became the first kite flyer in the World to fly 3 kites on?.'crutches'"!!!

Wow! I must get my head together, I sat in the van and reread the note. "Meet me behind the kite shop." Which kite shop? There are four of them in Long Beach. Then I started to smell a rat. Someone was having me on, but who would pull something like this on Big Daddy? Then in my mind's eye I saw Brian, Sharon and Dan leaving the parking lot ?the same row that I was parked on.

I then drove to the motel where I was sharing a unit with my friends Gerri and Fred Adler. I showed them the note and right away, like a pair of Siamese twins, they shouted as one, "Brian and Sharon Champie," and I said, "And Dan the Man! " After having a laugh over the note (Gerri and Fred did, anyway ), I went in the bathroom and threw up.

We had been invited that evening to Andy Tauber's "Fool-B-Cue ". Brian, Sharon, and many others would be there also. We decide that I should play along with their little joke. After we had been there a little while, I showed the love note to a few people, they gave me the 'Thumbs UP' sign. Then I showed it to Brian?old poker face never batted a eye lid as he read it, and said, "You lucky dog!! You're going of course? I gave him the thumbs up, and left it at that. After the great B-Cue Andy and his wife put on, Gerri, Fred, Sharon, Brian, Dan, another young lady and myself went to Brian's motel and spent the rest of the evening talking, having a few cold ones, but nothing was mentioned about the love note. It was way past 9:00 p.m., anyway. The next day, I saw Sharon on the beach where she was watching the fighter kiters. We chatted a little about this and that; then I showed her the note, hoping she would burst out laughing and tell me it was all a joke, but she said Ray you should have gone?you have a reputation to keep up.

I have had a lot of mail from people that had heard about the joke, and they admire my sense of humor in the way I took the bait ?.but did I?? If I had, I would not have gone to Brian's after the B-Q, I would have checked out all four kite shops, right? I mean? I am still very virile and strong?. and never? ever have I received any complaints from the ladies. In fact, just the opposite. Ask around.

I owe you one, Brian, Sharon and Dan; keep looking over your shoulder because one day I will get my revenge! ?but that does not mean I don't love you guys.

Thanks for the giggle.


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